I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
