Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
