she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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