I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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