so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize