Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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