I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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