The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
