I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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