how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
