dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
