Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
