Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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