so explain again why im purple
no
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
