Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
