he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
