I wish I could punch you in the face.
She's JV to your varsity
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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