Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
