You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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