Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm determined to sit on that face.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
