Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
