Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
