he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
