First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
