he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
