A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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