So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
