Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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