How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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