did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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