Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
