thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
