erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
