just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
