I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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