genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize