So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
