so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
