So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
