will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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