oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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