No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
