I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
