Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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