I am in a vortex of obligation.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Randomize
