It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
