i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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