I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
