We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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