You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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