I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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