i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
