Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
