Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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