and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
