ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
