Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
