i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
