True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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